DESCRIBING ASTRONOMICAL STEPS
IN A GENERAL EDUCATION PHYSICS CLASS
WITH BITS OF MATHEMATICAL ABSTRACTION
ALL OVER SIMPLIFIED AND CORRECT
IN ONLY A FEW SITUATIONS
BUT MOST THINGS ARE LIKE THAT ANYWAYS
Notes: May 12:
Kepler: A true giant (non-smoker), living at the time of
Galileo, that other giant of a guy (non-smoker).
Wrote various laws on napkins/ luggage & ticket
stubs & hotel stationary:
1. Planets move in elliptical paths
around the Sun without any
pit stops, or laying eggs*
*The Mileage
Law.
2. A line drawn from the Sun to a
planet sweeps, waxes, washes,
dusts, vacuums, or
calls a maid…asks for a janitor,
or otherwise asks for the Army
to clear equal areas in equal units
of time*
*Principal of
the Cleaning Lady.
3. Harmonic Law
P2 = a3
P= Pomp/ a= Average/
Amount of pomp gathered
(in astronomical units)
of consternation
or level of annoyance
by a galactic
body revolving
‘round Sun of other planets
once using this formula
Philosophical idea, getting all these P’ s & a’s
blended together, for instance:
P2 = a3
112 = 53
(Jupiter) = (Jupiter)
121 = 125
(Grave annoyance,
a cosmic falling out;
Jupiter, far from
the Sun is a little less
annoying than Neptune
but Pluto is the worst
a virtual black-sheep
of the family)
Kepler: Oh, what a Mensch. His predictions,
not just a magical thinker, propelling us
into modern thought with his modernity
Kepler: Father, Mother, Originator, Co-conspirator,
Manager, Idealist, Thinker — -
Oh hell —
Stated with pride and simplicity, virtually
the Georgewashington of Astronomy
(P2 = a3)
Kepler: Friend of Tycho Brahe and Galileo Galilei
(they took names and kicked asses), known by
Newton — surpassing Euclid, Plato, and the fat guy
in all the restaurants with the mustachio
Kepler: The Boy-Hero, Crime Fighter, Mathematician &
Adventurer & Private-Eye
Kepler, the Unsung Poet of the Mind:
Planets
sweep out
pie-shaped
wedges
of area
during their
orbits
taking no
more than
giving in
motion
so we shade
in that area
that is
swept
out
and soon
the Planet
is a bead
on the
edge
of a black
disk
— —
CM Evans
